Thursday, May 3, 2012

A Day in the Life: Kristy and Bryce Shen

APA Month kicks off with my sketchiest Day in the Life yet.  Presenting my favorite Asian couple, the Shens from Toronto, Canada, and their Notabat.
Hi everyone. We're Kristy and Bryce, and we're partially insane. Learn more at before the goddamned Feds shut us down.

So you want to know what a day is like for us, huh?


A day in the life. A day in the life. Well, to be completely honest with you, I have no idea what each new day is going to be like anymore. Life USED to be simple for us. Normal. Predictable. Uncomplicated. God, we miss those days.

And then this...THING started living with us.

Now? Now, every day is a new surprise. But never a good surprise. Oh Hell no. It's NEVER a good surprise.

Imagine that it's your birthday. Someone hands you a gift box, and eagerly you unwrap it to find SURPRISE, poisonous snakes. And the next day, someone hands you an envelope, and again, eagerly you open it to find SURPRISE, you now have Ebola. And the NEXT day, you find yourself standing underneath a festive, colorful pinata, swinging in a tree. It's moving, it's shrieking, there's smoke pouring out of it. You know that there is a 100% chance that whatever's inside is something you absolutely don't want to set loose. But yet someone hands you a bat and tells you that you have to break that sucker open.

Yeah, that's what our days are like now.

9:30 AM. Eat breakfast.

Ah, breakfast. Everyone loves breakfast. I mean, who doesn't enjoy a good breakfast?

We don't, that's who.

I mean, we used to. We used to eat eggs and cereal and french toast here. But now? Now breakfast only starts when IT gets full.

It never gets full.

We haven't eaten breakfast for days.

So hungry...

1:30 PM. Mow the lawn

Mowing the lawn actually gets done faster now, so yay, I guess?

7:30 PM. Watch cartoons.

This actually hasn't changed all that much. We still do this, and oddly enough that...thing seems to actually like watching them too. Its favorite seems to be My Little Pony. Although, considering how many ponies it eats on a regular basis, it might think it's some kind of cooking show or something.

11:55 PM. Go to bed.

Well this is where we would NORMALLY go to bed. And TECHNICALLY, we still do. But we just don't get any sleep anymore. I mean, if you had this thing staring at you all night, would you?

Anyone want to trade places?


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