I Adore Books and Film. I also write movie reviews for a local magazine called InsideOut Hawaii. Basically, we both love being entertained and have an obsession with the obscure, in particular books that are peculiarly wonderful and movies that are strangely random. We sit drinking our lattes, while I push up the black rimmed glasses on the bridge of my nose. We laugh at the cynical and cry at the obvious. Bottom line, we love a really damn good story!!! Here’s a typical day in our life. Don’t judge.
6:30am I wake at the cry of our cat outside our bedroom door. No one will let her in because she is a thug kitten with one good eye that we adopted at the shelter and chooses to battle at odd hours of the night. Even our dogs are scared. Her name is Pumpkin the Huntress.
7:00am After being assaulted by my cat, I stumble through our home and walk out the back door to our secret plantation of Hawaiian Coffee. We’d tell you the location of our coffee crops, but then we’d have to kill you. Besides you wouldn't make it pass the trench that we dug, that is heavily patrolled by a pack of Great Danes.
8:30am I shower and get dressed, while pondering my collection of underwear.
9:00am I consume a second cup of coffee because the first tasted so delicious and personally, I like delicious things to be consumed at all hours of the day.
10:30am I have an early brunch with my bestie, Alex O’Loughlin. He claims he has the perfect part on Hawaii Five-O for me but I politely decline. He then documents our conversation in a little black journal that he keeps in his right shirt pocket and mutters something about a biopic. He then gives me a lei and I excuse myself to meet Noe.
11:30am I get a text that she is at the beach and to come meet her. She has the perfect idea for a new film. I show up and Noe begins to describe the plot--Something about a girl who lives in Hawaii but has a fetish for French foreign films. The girl wears a black scarf in memory of the postcard that her Uncle, who has been arrested for importing counterfeit Louis Vuitton purses in Paris, was destroyed by her nemesis at school, Rachael Adams. I shake my head in agreement and add that there needs to be a death in the movie. Noe agrees and decides to start working on it.
12:48pm Noe adds a tragic accident to her film…. A pet duck named Roberto Rodriguez has been killed by a freak comet that hits the island.
1:52pm I arrive early to a book club meeting. The book chosen for this month is called Universal Interconnectivity. The authors who wrote the book attend. They are existential detectives. I decide they are awesome. Internally, I wonder if this is coincidence that we are meeting.
3:00pm I get in some exercise and climb Koko Head crater. There are over a thousand steps up. I pretend that I have been captured by communist forces, made to ascend this hellish hike for punishment, while Aerosmith’s Back in the Saddle Again plays on my iPod. I get to step 30 and decide I am no war hero. I turn and go home.
4:30pm I change and get ready for a movie screening. Still contemplate underwear collection.
5:45pm Catch an early meal due to the later onslaught of an aromatic bouquet of stale popcorn, questionable hot dogs and other delicacies that are secretly brought in with Tupperware.
7:00pm Attend Advanced Movie Screening. Unashamedly answers trivia questions before film and takes out the little kid who tries to win the free t-shirt. Not on my watch.
8:30pm Turns during the film screening at the mother who allows the kid that I snaked the free t-shirt from behind, to exclaim “that is bullsh*@” when major character dies.
10:30pm Writes movie review while drinking Vodka because I’m vegan-and-that-totally-counts-as-vegetables and sends document over to editor.
11:15pm Squeezes the awkward fat that hangs on my black lab’s chest while wishing sweet dreams for my children. There are rumors outside of a small village in India that this totally works. I then fall asleep and start the day all over again.