tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post2157438179282017607..comments2023-08-16T08:39:13.695-07:00Comments on Sophia The Writer: Anti-Acknowledgements or Why You Don't Want to Write In A Chinese FamilySophia Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10946233873722107937noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-49706483329509722122011-10-31T12:05:54.713-07:002011-10-31T12:05:54.713-07:00Can't believe I missed this post when you firs...Can't believe I missed this post when you first wrote it, but I read it just now and was nodding along with every sentence. You're right, right, right... except for the last sentence? You're wrong. You're not alone, because we're all here right alongside you! That's why I'm so thankful I have my blog/writerly friends. Also, do we have the same dad? Because if I were still talking to mine, he'd probably ask me every day if I had changed my mind and was going to medical school yet.Julie Daohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13814052162359300933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-38909867231319532752011-09-13T13:41:33.655-07:002011-09-13T13:41:33.655-07:00Hi! Joy's Versatile Blog award post led me to ...Hi! Joy's Versatile Blog award post led me to your blog. This post is totally relatable. My mom's half-Chinese, and when I opened my upcycled clothing shop early this year she wrung her hands by phone: "You're not using what you learned in college." It's called burnout, Mom. And reinvention.<br /><br />Your former bf sounds like he never heard of the sandwich method of offering feedback: Start with praise, offer constructive criticism, close with praise.Scrollworkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09761198237613139398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-12649564682520307852011-04-12T16:12:21.903-07:002011-04-12T16:12:21.903-07:00This is one of my favorite posts of yours ever! It...This is one of my favorite posts of yours ever! It's honest and funny and sad and it makes me want to root for you even more!<br /><br />Your writing community will push you, but they will also love you unconditionally! My writing friends have done that for me. Bring on the love and encouragement for Sophia! Way to follow your dreams!!!Lori W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15513938828806159874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-81290582150439769612011-04-10T07:18:30.211-07:002011-04-10T07:18:30.211-07:00Love this post, thanks for sharing. I totally unde...Love this post, thanks for sharing. I totally understand what you're going through as an Opera Singer in my late twenties chasing this impossible dream. Keep goin girlfriend.La Toyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04837173119599366968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-29437308810039298232011-04-08T18:19:41.035-07:002011-04-08T18:19:41.035-07:00A first-time visitor here and I'm happy to hav...A first-time visitor here and I'm happy to have found myself reading the above entry. I'm sorry about your issues with your Dad but I guess most of us can relate to that...(or am I only saying that cos I'm also Asian?..haha!) Anyway, thanks for being inspiring. I'm struggling with calling myself a writer because I haven't really 'produced' anything (other than a few academic publications from a past life and my blog entries). But again, it's great to find a community of writers online who inspire me. Thanks and keep dreaming and doing what you love most! I''m looking forward to reading more of your posts :-)Joy Page Manuelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00869379846706830802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-22242181898488511782011-04-07T11:11:18.644-07:002011-04-07T11:11:18.644-07:00Having a good critter (who you will be meeting IRL...Having a good critter (who you will be meeting IRL in less than a month!!!) is better than having a supportive family :) While my family is supportive of anything I do (yeah, I'm one of those lucky kids), they haven't really read anything of mine. My mom read the first draft of FE and all she said was "it needs more sex" :P<br /><br />Jordan, on the other hand, will not be going into my acknowledgments page. Unless it's "thanks for all the fights over NaNo, and thanks for constantly telling me my writing is awful, except that one time when you said someone else's writing was worse". He's starting to come around, but it took NINE YEARS.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-72326697902084501652011-04-07T08:08:46.022-07:002011-04-07T08:08:46.022-07:00I think you're amazingly talented and intellig...I think you're amazingly talented and intelligent. I'm sorry your family has trouble appreciating you for you.<br /><br />Getting my husband to read my writing is like digging a hole in concrete with a plastic spoon. My begging and pleading bounces right off. The rare occasions that he has read anything convinced me that he is an phenomenal reader, but he won't. do. it. Drives me nuts.<br /><br />I think a good critique partner is better than family input anyway. At least, you have been so far :) You know what you're talking about, you're honest, and you love writing as much as I do.Angela Perryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15598455060979053040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-42521141102602356222011-04-06T21:51:39.044-07:002011-04-06T21:51:39.044-07:00Whoa. I came here to thank you for the awesome com...Whoa. I came here to thank you for the awesome comment you left on MY blog, only to find this deep and poignant (and yeah, really kinda sad) yet somehow beautiful post. I'm not even sure what to say, except that I'm proud of you (though for keepin' on despite EVERYTHING. I'm honored to know you and I'm emboldened by your example.<br /><br />Thank you!ali crosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13023009704454279645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-5436052894006675092011-04-06T21:04:58.175-07:002011-04-06T21:04:58.175-07:00This is a powerful post, Sophia. I imagine it can...This is a powerful post, Sophia. I imagine it can't have been easy to write and post, but I am really glad you did.<br /><br />I can't tell you how much your support has meant to me. You're the first person, in the writing community, who offered to help me when I first decided to start blogging about my writing! Thank you for that :) I hope, in some way, I've helped you too!Juliana L. Brandthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15903360100714298208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-16224315580576712632011-04-06T01:01:32.615-07:002011-04-06T01:01:32.615-07:00Thanks for sharing this Sophia. I smiled when I re...Thanks for sharing this Sophia. I smiled when I read the part about your boyfriend only reading one sentence and then made you cry. I sniggered because that is me with my hubby. He once read a short story, tore it to pieces and left me in tears. Like you, I am working with him on giving some positive feedback too. Sorry to hear about your family not supporting you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-79327056889416999622011-04-04T21:58:12.273-07:002011-04-04T21:58:12.273-07:00Thanks for this Sophia! We can commiserate more on...Thanks for this Sophia! We can commiserate more on the topic at a future (soon-ish?) boba meeting. I don't think either of my parents are as down on the whole writing thing as your dad sounds. They're generally supportive, but I do get the feeling they wonder what the heck I'm doing and wish I was doing something else. (I think it also helps that I have quite a few artsy fartsy friends, who ARE successful - but that has its own can of worms.)<br /><br />And don't worry: my parents and my sister have never read a word of my writing, and I don't know if I want them to. XPKrispyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09492607213249874138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-22521027284478957982011-04-04T21:00:56.696-07:002011-04-04T21:00:56.696-07:00*HUGE Hugs* Sorry to hear that. Stay positive and ...*HUGE Hugs* Sorry to hear that. Stay positive and strong. Hang in there.Samantha Sottohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14116257082088369600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-91798220720448761352011-04-04T19:50:26.623-07:002011-04-04T19:50:26.623-07:00Sophia, I'm so sorry you don't have more s...Sophia, I'm so sorry you don't have more support at home. If it's any consolation, my husband has never read my work (published or otherwise) either.<br /><br />Writers have to stick together!Kristine Asselinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18257286523945921891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-47048078730501202312011-04-04T19:13:45.280-07:002011-04-04T19:13:45.280-07:00I'm sorry to hear you can't share your wri...I'm sorry to hear you can't share your writing with your father. My father went ballistic when I changed my major from financial management to english at the end of my junior year of college. He's come to accept that I am who I am, but it doesn't mean I'm not bitter or that I share my accomplishments with him. We pretend that side of me doesn't exist.<br /><br />And you should totally find a bf who supports you in everything. My husband's crit is sometimes blunt, but he doesn't make me cry...Bluestockinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01225973854788421827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-53446793156759886432011-04-04T18:52:10.766-07:002011-04-04T18:52:10.766-07:00This is beautiful and sad and so very strong. Most...This is beautiful and sad and so very strong. Most people spend their whole lives in LA trying to get somewhere, and never land a role or even get a callback. It might not have impressed your dad, but it sure impresses me. (I'm too chicken to even do the "go to LA" part!)<br /><br />I write all of my blog posts on the weekends and schedule them for the upcoming week. It was my intention to take that post down before it published, because the more I thought about it, the more naked I felt. Most people think I do the alone thing because I'm a loner, and it's so much easier to let them think that, you know? <br /><br />But after reading your post, I'm glad I left it up. I don't think we're the only ones who don't have people to fill our acknowledgments pages with, or who push through even though the only person pushing us forward is ourselves.<br /><br />Alone isn't necessarily a bad thing. It might be a little tougher, but in a lot of ways, doesn't it make you want it that much more?Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06376697563995394878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-59463810408746300172011-04-04T18:21:49.134-07:002011-04-04T18:21:49.134-07:00Great post, I'm glad I added you to my daily r...Great post, I'm glad I added you to my daily reads list! I actually had a similar, though I'm not Chinese so it's not quite the same, post today. :) <br /><br />Keep writing.Ken Lindseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12113460297980380216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-320125064930639422011-04-04T18:18:21.083-07:002011-04-04T18:18:21.083-07:00This nearly made me cry. Doing it on your own is t...This nearly made me cry. Doing it on your own is the hardest, but the most fulfilling. When it comes down to it, having the drive gets you further than all the support in the world. And the drive is definitely something you've got. :)Unlikely Oilfield Wifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02339868851944310580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-47024335599515322942011-04-04T17:26:09.465-07:002011-04-04T17:26:09.465-07:00(Sorry, had to delete previous comment. Spelling e...(Sorry, had to delete previous comment. Spelling error and that drives me crazy.) <br /><br />Awww. Well, you can thank your many blogging friends who support you a 1000%!! We're rooting for you!!<br /><br />It's funny that you mention your Asian culture. I'm half Vietnamese and let me tell you, it ain't just the Chinese that are hard on their children. If I were to write my fake acknowledgement, I would also add "And thanks mom for pointing out all my pimples during my high school years, among my other psychical blunders." <br /><br />Okay, I know I'm straying but did you read "The Kite Runner"? The character in the book points out many times how disappointed his father (his father-in-law as well) sort of look down on his fictional writing. (Afghan culture). Anyhow, it's a good book and your post made me think of it. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-1457651014815524312011-04-04T17:24:04.359-07:002011-04-04T17:24:04.359-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852762505451060577.post-68904664411631999412011-04-04T17:19:00.880-07:002011-04-04T17:19:00.880-07:00*hugs* Thank you for sharing this with us, Sophia....*hugs* Thank you for sharing this with us, Sophia. As an Asian American, I can completely understand and sympathize.<br /><br />For my parents, nothing less of being a doctor is ever an "acceptable" career choice. I agree with you on being envious of writers who mention their parents' support in their acknowledgement -- I'd thank them, but probably not where my writing is concerned.<br /><br />And I also agree that that's why the writing community's support is so important, especially when you don't have it in "real-life."Emy Shinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08109925009902220083noreply@blogger.com